Saturday, August 7, 2010

I've had social block. I compare it to writers block. I just stepped out of my social life for a while. I'm trying to come back. School is starting soon. I've volunteered at my old job a bit. It was nice to see everyone. I've started training for my new job. I took on some volunteer jobs. So I'm keeping myself busy. I like it that way.

Two of my friends have had baby boys. I met the first one last week. He was just so precious. I go tomorrow to meet Mustafa. I am very excited. I really like to be around small babies but they make me nervous at the same time. It's been a while since I've cared for a tiny baby.

I'm eating and sleeping again. Sleeping less but still sleeping and with less aide. i'm looking forward to the future. InshAllah next summer I will try to get pregnant again. I honestly can't wait. The other day a cashier at Wal-Mart asked me if Ali was my only one and I said yes. I instantly regretted not acknowledging my two other sons, Yahya and Kamil.

Kamil's head stone has been ordered and is on the way. I'll post a pick once it's there. Ramadan begins in 3 days. I need it. I need the spiritual refresher that Ramadan brings. I need the community and I need Allah's forgiveness and Mercy.

I have finally enabled comments on my blog. I don't know what I was doing wrong before but whatever it's fixed now.


Stephanie said...

Glad we can leave comments now. I remember the social block. To be there but not be there, or to not even want to be there. Around this time after my loss I didn't like to go places and still have a hard time getting motivated to do some stuff. i'm glad your are sleeping again. Don't beat yourself up too hard about passing up on the chit chat, Your still an amazing mother to both of your lil boys.